On Dead Car Batteries and Cell Phones

Dear Horny Junebugs,

This post is not writerly in nature, but I've come to accept that I do not have many writerly things to say. It is, however, funny, but only if you are you and not me.

Let me share with you a recent Thursday.

A light comes on on the dashboard of my car about five minutes into my drive home from work. This alarms me because this happened before, along with the radio cutting in and out. It's a power problem and I thought I had taken care of it when I replaced the battery the day before. It's the reason why I canceled my appointment with the repair shop.

I look at my watch. It's fifteen minutes before the repair shop closes. I need to call to make sure I can at least get my appointment back. Trouble is on the horizon. I get the appointment back but they can't see me any sooner. As I talk to them (pulled over on a small side street), the lights in my car flicker and dim. Weird clicking noises are coming from behind the dash. By the time I hang up, the car is completely dead. Nothing is on. No sound is emitted when I try to turn the engine over. I sit in a dead metal box.

And there is one bar of battery life left on my phone.

I call a couple people for jump starts, which don't pan out. One is on the way to a baseball game and I tell him he shouldn't come back. One doesn't answer. It turns out that it wouldn't have helped regardless. I needed a tow, which is what I eventually got.

I call Geico and they set me up, the phone call lasting longer than I'd have liked, including a few times that she puts me on hold. Otherwise, it is not a bad experience. Until the tow truck doesn't suck up within the 30 minute ETA. I get nervous because the Geico woman didn't seem that confident in pinpointing my location based on the information I gave her.

And my phone. It's really about my phone. If it had more juice, I would feel better. Maybe I could use my car charger... oh wait.

Anyway, I call the tow company with the number Geico gave me. No dice. Voicemail both times. The third time, using just a little more cell phone power that I desperately need, I get through but the guy says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. There is a silence that seems to last forever... then he says, "Oh, are you the XXXXX job?" (XXXXX being the town I was in). He proceeds to say that there was a dispatcher mixup, but there is somebody enroute.

The tow truck ride is fine. The guy is friendly, efficient, and it's a new experience for me riding in one. He asks me if I have a ride from the dealer. I tell him I'll arrange something.

Oh yea, I had to taken to the dealer (where the repair shop is) because I only get the one free tow and I might as well send it there even if they can't get to it for a few days.

So, there I am at the dealership. I fill out a form for the drop off box and seal my keys inside the envelope. There are still people inside, but it's the sale staff. It is now more than an hour since I was first rendered carless and the service department is closed.

Before I start making calls, I go to a nearby bank to get some cash. I'm really low and I might need it. It's the first time I haven't used an ATM to get cash in a long time. It feels weird, but the teller girl is pretty. Score.

Back at the vestibule at the service center, I start making calls. I call roommates, cell phones and work numbers and home number. I call a friend. No one picks up. It either keeps ringing or goes straight to voicemail. I try to leave composed messages.

But inside, I am having a small panic attack. I am about nine miles from home, it's getting dark and cold, and walking would be difficult especially along the side of a pitch black highway. I wait a little while and hope someone calls me back...to no avail. I realize then that maybe I need to have more acquaintances, if only to have a bigger pool of people to call on for just these situations.

My phone still has that one lonely bar. I resort to calling information for a cab. Surely, I could do that. It may cost me some money, but at least I can get back. I navigate the confusing directories and get a number of a car service company that I think will work. I call them. They tell me they don't operate out of the town I'm in.

I resist the urge to throw my phone. I pace angrily. I can only imagine what this looks like. I wonder now if they have cameras in that dealership parking lot. It must be very funny. Then my phone informs me that I have a low battery. The lonely bar is gone.

Combing through my phonebook, I search for a number. I'm not sure if she's there. I've only called her once before. Did I save it?

It's there! I frantically scribble it on a piece of paper, hoping the phone stays on.

Then I run to the bank. Luckily (there is not much luck for me this night, but this is the exception), it's open late. The pretty teller girl is still there. I tell my sob story, she Awwww's with pity, and let's me use their phone. It goes through and she'll be happy to come pick me up. I give her some general directions, but ask her to double check online because she might not be able to call me on my cell.

When I leave, the teller says brightly that they're open until eight if I need the phone again. It's nice of her, but if I need it again, it would be past eight.

The whole ride back, I regale my savior with my fraught night. And I wonder if my roommates are home, cooling their heels in the living room, while phones are ringing and voicemails are being left. I get home. And they are. They fucking are.

*sigh*